tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-914382632005868190.post590516506082387073..comments2023-10-01T07:43:13.216-07:00Comments on bits and peaces: Lucky to Have this ProblemJustMehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02493032821722724778noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-914382632005868190.post-67409621887764161122013-05-25T05:15:20.459-07:002013-05-25T05:15:20.459-07:00This post makes a lot of sense to me! It reminds m...This post makes a lot of sense to me! It reminds me a lot of my feelings. I'm also a perfectionist who works really hard and stays on top of everything. Once I became pregnant, besides being distracted for obvious reasons, I also felt like slowing down. I felt like there were more important things. <br /><br />Becoming a mom really does change things! I had no idea my priorities would shift so much. In fact, they've shifted so much that first - I was going to return part time after the baby was born (prior to that I was planning on full time work). But now - I don't know if I'll return to work at all. Which is crazy to me because being a Nurse is a huge part of my life/identity. <br /><br />Now, I've been written off work indefinitely for my back/bum problems, and I don't have a position to return to if I wanted to. So things have taken yet another twist. It's been difficult for me, and I've shed a lot of tears over it. But I know that it's best for right now, and we'll figure things out down the line. I'll always be a Nurse, so I can return to that when/if I want to. It's a lot to think about though!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-914382632005868190.post-22185722527963897352013-05-24T14:16:29.940-07:002013-05-24T14:16:29.940-07:00That whole "having it all" thing kind of...That whole "having it all" thing kind of drives me crazy... like, what does "it all" mean anyway? It always tends to refer to both career and children, but really, each woman has her own definition of what being fulfilled means, and it's usually different for everyone. And I also think life involves constant compromise. So if "having it all" means working 9 to 5 in a corporate job and then seeing my kids in the evenings and weekends, that's great, but I probably won't have that exact configuration, and I'll probably be fine. <br /><br />Anyway, I know what you mean by being lucky to have these problems... first-world problems, indeed. But it's still so important to give thought to this stuff. I will join you in stressing out about it!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-914382632005868190.post-13380889268602974462013-05-23T09:19:18.168-07:002013-05-23T09:19:18.168-07:00You are not alone lady. I think those of us that ...You are not alone lady. I think those of us that are working will always feel weird stepping back during pregnancy/stepping away during maternity leave. It's definitely going to be a balance that might take a while to figure out. I had a mom who was super-mom holding down her stressful full time lawyer job while also taking care of two kids so I have a lot to live up to!Non Sequitur Chicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07268138421234170972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-914382632005868190.post-80053199739692342692013-05-22T08:47:16.090-07:002013-05-22T08:47:16.090-07:00I think it is only natural that you will experienc...I think it is only natural that you will experience some discomfort as you try to work out your new identity as a Mom AND a career-woman. As you said, we are lucky to even have this choice because many women around the world do not. However, as much as we appreciate being able to decide, it doesn't make the process any easier. I do think the middle road (part-time) would be ideal, but unfortunately, we don't live in an ideal world and I'm sure you will have some juggling to do over the next couple years. <br /><br />I think the best thing you said here was that you are going to allow yourself time to contemplate. It's wise to be aware of your changing role in life and give it time to sink in. I'm sure your path will reveal itself. Gypsy Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13026496787029080243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-914382632005868190.post-75994360724159337822013-05-21T22:51:00.831-07:002013-05-21T22:51:00.831-07:00Yeah this stuff is very very hard to deal with. I ...Yeah this stuff is very very hard to deal with. I think it has to do with the fact that structures in society have to change, for example, I believe workplaces should have their own daycare facilities. It would create jobs and make it easier for everyone. Some schools work like that. And I think everyone's performance would be better knowing that the baby is close to one of the partners. If they can have restaurants / canteens at workplaces they can also have a daycare facility. <br /><br />I hope you will be able to work part-time at some point, since you work based on appointment it does not sound like something impossible to arrange (at least in my mind). <br /><br />Going through fertility issues while unemployed makes me feel like my life is a big cruel joke of the universe. I already kind of "gave up" my career (though I keep applying), but I've became OK with the fact that things might not be how I always dreamt they would be even after 8 years at university and 2 degrees. But when on top of that I don't seem to be able to do the task women have been in charge of since the dawn of times it feels like I am failing at all aspects no matter how hard I try. So I get you on the dilemma, having it all is a lie, or you can have things at different times of life, or on different intensities at different moments, or you can choose / prioritize, but the whole "you can be an astronaut and a TV-show mom , pick up the children at 2 and have a pie baked and lots of energy left for , say decorating or knitting" is just unreal.<br /><br /> I am sure, though that you will find a way to make things work, even if it means compromising some aspects of your (or your husbands') work life, because you are both in this together and I am sure he supports you. Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02424374017675047414noreply@blogger.com