I knew September would be busy. I knew it would be the month of classes and nursery prep and buying last minute things. But I had no idea how busy it would be. I don't get home until late at night (between 7-9) every night. I am working so hard to get my clients to a good place before I go on leave, as well as my two supervisees. Not to mention the mountains of paperwork and reports that need to be written. But written when? Amidst the baby classes, shopping, social outings, doctor's appts, vet appts, etc...I barely have time to breathe.
B has it just as bad as I do. He has had major deadlines at work, all which are linked to live events broadcast on television, meaning that his projects HAVE to go off well or else it could fail in a very public way. And, as the owner of his company, that just can't happen. So he is working literally all of the time and when he is not working (or at baby classes), he is spent. Amazingly, he has been even more caring and nurturing to me in the past few weeks the entire rest of the pregnancy - making me dinners, running me baths, etc - but still I feel we are both dealing with our own bubbles of stress and just "waiting it out."
Surprisingly, aside from the physical exhaustion and emotional stress about Monte, I seem to be keeping it together pretty well (except for a certain meltdown this morning when I found out B had eaten the last of the peanut butter). I think that I know that there really is no time for a breakdown. I just have to get through this. Get the work done. Do it, so I can come out the other side.
My stress will peak and then come to a screeching halt when my maternity leave starts in three weeks. I can do anything for three weeks, right? B, on the other hand, has projects continuing through November. BIG projects with HUGE price tags attached to them. And, as he put it, "There is also the tiny little fact that we are having a baby in the middle of this all." It makes you realize that life just doesn't stop because it would be more convenient to take it slow right now. We lead busy, busy lives. And we both know we work this hard so that baby can have the things that the two of us didn't.
It's just that, for right now. I'm exhausted. But, buckle down, blinders on, pull hard, and plod forward. Last day of work is October 11th. I will make it before I know it.
It is really hard and you're right, you just have to plod through. It's really nice that you have a definitive start date. I only get three months off and I don't want to waste any of it just sitting around at home so I'm workin up until I go into labor which makes it all hard to plan and manage. It's really difficult for me to not know when I finally get to stop. I'm pretty sure that in four weeks time I won't be at work anymore but even that could be an incorrect estimate. It's good you have a set date. That will make working towards it feel more doable.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
So close! And we will do some seriously fun things when you are on mat leave so it'll be awesome. Let me know if I can help with anything! x
ReplyDeleteSorry for all the stress. So glad you only have a few weeks of work left! Praying for your workload and B's work.
ReplyDeleteI just kind of can't believe you're already at 34 weeks. Effing amazing. Godspeed to Oct 11!
ReplyDeleteI can't believe you're still working - I've felt rubbish since about 30w...
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how tired I am. My body is soooo heavy. I run out of breath waaaay too fast.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard enough just making it to work every day. I don't know how you do what you do. You don't just go to work, you give part of yourself, your energy, to your patients every day. I know it always works itself out, but it's amazing how overwhelming it is as it gets closer to the end.
I can't believe how close you are! It seems like I just found your blog, now here you are, ready to pop!
34 weeks....Wowza! Roll on October 11th! (And that line about your meltdown over the peanut butter made me laugh - it's totally something I'd do.)
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