I still owe you my Birth Story and I'm about halfway through writing it, but I can't ignore that Owen is now one week old! Actually....it's 8:40 as I write this. He was born at 8:49 exactly one week ago. That gives me chills. The first week has been overwhelming, intense, difficult and amazing. By far the hardest part is breastfeeding and that deserves its own post but you can imagine how draining and intense it has been. The best parts are holding him and looking into his eyes and marveling at his facial expressions. I am awed by being a mother and awed by my son. I feel like I am the luckiest mother in the world, but I know that everyone feels that way. That's the beauty of this relationship.
I don't really know how to describe to you in words the first week. There are moments. When he nuzzles into my neck. When he makes little grunting noises in his sleep. When my nipples hurt so badly I want to cry out (or I actually do cry out). When B tells me I am strong and he adores me. When B sings to Owen to soothe him. When Owen calms just by hearing my voice. When I am terrified that he will stop breathing. When I realize that I am carrying him around like a pro. When I realize that we are actually doing this. When I am terrified and amazed that this is the start of the rest of his life.
The first week. The beginning. The moment I have been thinking about for nine months. The transition to a new identity. It is actually happening.
p.s. I am sorry about not commenting on your blogs. I am reading them. I read them while I feed Owen in the middle of the night and I feel alone and overwhelmed. But it's hard to comment from my phone and I just fell behind. But I love to read what everyone else is going through. I am happy for those of you who have had wonderful news, anxious along with some of you who are waiting for news, and relieved to read others who are experiencing things similar to me. Basically, I love you guys!