Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Midwife Appointment

I had an appointment with my midwife today. Not much to report. We were able to process our Mexico-trauma with her, which was nice. We discussed referrals for chiropractic, recommendations for supplements, and the pros/cons of circumcision (wow). But I did learn today about a major difference between midwifery care and doctor care. When I asked the midwife about whether we should be having sex, her answer was somewhere along the lines of, "Well, it's up to you. It could cause more bleeding, but gentle sex is likely ok. But really, make a choice regarding what feels right for you." And more info about what feels comfortable and safe for me. Now, if I'd asked my previous doctor, do you know what she would have said? No. One of the problems I had with that doctor was her overly cautious, shut-the-door to ambivalence approach to medicine. But now I find that here I am maybe just wishing the midwife would have done the same thing and said a clear-cut-NO.

Is this me? Am I completely dissatisfied with whatever type of treatment I receive? Am I trying out medical practitioners like a grown-up Goldilocks? But then I realized, no, I think this is just my fear talking. I think I wanted a black and white answer so as to not leave things up to me to decide. I wanted her to tell me that I am "better" or that I am "Not better." But the truth is, who knows?? So either, have sex or not. It's up to me.

In regards to other questions, I liked her flexible approach. For example, then I asked her the oh-so-important-question that is spoken about on Forums as if it is the most important thing in the world: "Should I be laying on my back? Ha. And here I liked her ambivalent answer. Basically, "It's up to you and what you feel comfortable with. Some women can sleep on their backs the whole pregnancy. Some can't. Your body will tell you if you are going numb from lack of blood supply. You'll wake up and roll over." Now, that...I agree with. So, when there's less fear involved, I guess I'm okay with a bit of flexibility.

What else? Oh. Well, I got lectured a bit about my Food Diary. Part of standard treatment is to track a week's worth of food and water intake. I was feeling pretty good about mine...drinking a ton of water (50-90oz a day) and eating no processed foods. But then she kept saying I could drink more water and lectured me about my pasta intake. Ooops. Yes, I eat way too much pasta. My dad is Italian, what do you want? B. pointed out that pasta is technically a processed food. Really? Even when I cover it with homemade marinara sauce?? *sigh* She said that I could continue to eat this way, but that it could lead to higher weight gain and a bigger baby. Damn. Why do I feel like I need to go back on WW? (In case you're curious, I've gained about a total of 10 lbs so far...not so bad, right?)

And then....my favorite part of the exam. Aka, the part where she plays with my belly. My fundal height measured at 22.5, which I will be 22 weeks Thursday, so that's within the range of normal. Then she asked where I'd been feeling him move and I showed her. She felt around and showed me that his head is low down on the left side and his feet are up high on the right (where I feel him move). How cool. Like she was showing me my baby through my skin. Wow. And....heartbeat time. So freaking amazing. I laid there with my hand behind my head, looking down at B.'s face and listening to our baby's heart beating. I'm in love.

P.S. We bought the Bugaboo! I officially own a stroller!

17 comments:

  1. I get so excited here reading about the heartbeat and the position of the baby, it's quite amazing that they know all of that just by touching your belly.
    I get you on the flexibility / fear dilemma, sometimes straightforward answers / ways of doing things seem all we want. It reminds me of my mother saying "haz lo que quieras" (do whatever you want), when all you wanted was a yes or a no....
    I hope everything continues to go well, trust your gut feeling.

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  2. Huh... I had just written a super long comment and I think it disappeared... let me know if you got it otherwise I will write it again. Was just saying how exciting it is about the heartbeat and about the way the midwifes can tell the position of your baby just by touching your belly.
    And about the flexibility thing... I totally get you, sometimes it would be easier to have straightforward answers. Trust your gut, you will be fine.

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    1. Ha...no, I didn't see it, but I get the idea. It really is amazing how much they can tell just by feeling. If you read about midwifery, they say that this is a lost art and that midwives are better at estimating baby weights than ultrasounds (dunno if that's true??), but definitely the way she described how he's laying makes sense because I feel him kicking right where his feet are and then feel some movements lower down where his torso and head would be. Somehow this tactile exam is more intimate than the ultrasound. It's really neat.

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  3. I had gained ten pounds at 22 weeks, and that's on the low gaining end when you've started at a normal weight. As long as you're getting a variety of foods in addition to the pasta, I can't see that it's really going to be a problem. Many, many people eat FAR more unhealthily than I suspect you are! (And don't wind up with jumbo babies because of it.)

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    1. Thanks for the support :) My husband said I'm being oversensitive and it was more of a word of warning and not a "lecture." Ha. So I will take it to heart that I should try to mix it up a bit more. I DO do really good most of the day. It's just when I get home late at night and don't feel like cooking anything, pasta is my go-to ;)

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  4. It's not just you, with the sex question, I would want a clear cut answer. We asked our RE in Mexico if we could have intercourse while on stims and he said "no, pero pueden hacer otras cosas..." jajajaja!

    I am Irish, and I eat potatoes like you eat pasta. I could never give them up!

    Glad to hear everything is going well for you :)

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    1. Hahha. Well, we definitely ARE "haciendo otras cosas." ;)

      Glad to know you understand! My mom's side of the family is Irish and that's how she feels about her potatoes. Somehow I took after my dad's side. Must have been the giant pasta dinners with tons of relatives every Sunday.

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  5. I'm so glad no one has asked me for a food diary. I am trying to eat relatively healthy, but I'm not doing as well as I should. I could really stand to eat more vegetables. And I KNOW I am not drinking enough water. I have always had trouble with this. Drinking more than usual but still not enough. I just...forget to drink. Oh well.
    Glad everything went well with the midwife.

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    1. Yeah. That was frustrating. I was killing myself trying to drink so much water...I mean, 80oz of water a day is a LOT right?? But she noticed the days I'm only getting 50. Seemed like dehydration was her culprit for every possible complaint. Headaches? Drink more water. Constipation? Drink more water. General stress and anxiety....Oh no, wait, she didn't say that last one. Ha.

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  6. I think with the big (and potentially scary) things it's totally normal to want a clearcut answer, because it takes some of the responsibility off of us. But the truth is, and you're right about that, even medicine is as much an art as a science, and there are often no clearcut answers, and a lot of subjective interpretation. But it's great that your midwife, while waffly, also has such a collaborative approach.

    Glad to hear little boy's heartbeat is beating away!

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  7. I totally missed your consumerism post from earlier! So funny about the Comfort U pillow -- I take it you've read Belle's posts about how obsessed she is with that thing; she calls it the life raft. :) Also -- so funny about the Bugaboo Cameleon; we also would never be able to afford a new one, but I've found a bunch online through Craigslist that look brand spanking new and are going for like $700 or $800 and I REALLY love them, but haven't done much research. What did you love about it, specifically??

    Also, I am still quite comfortable lying on my back -- I keep trying to fall asleep on my left side, but inevitably wake up on my back. Have really tried to panic less about this. :)

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  8. Man, do I feel ya on the in between answers from medical professionals. Tell me EXACTLY what to do to make this work, sisterfriend. Your uncertainty makes me uncomfortable. But, I get it. Medicine isn't black and white. My pops is a pediatric ICU doc, and it's been shocking to learn how much art and feel and clinical experience is involved in his job. Science is the backbone, of course, but there is no definite right way to do anything.

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  9. Yay! The bugaboo really sounded like too good a deal to pass up. :-) So glad you had a good appt! I've already called the midwife practice near us to set up an appt. Woo-hoo!

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  10. So glad everything is going well - but totally understand the need for clear rules and answers. Intrigued by the lying on your back question. I'm a stomach sleeper, which is already growing more difficult (boobs, owww) and find that sleeping on my side is only comfortable for so long. So I like her answer :)
    Also, 10 lbs at 22 weeks seems eminently reasonable! Plus, I seemed to recall you looking fantastic in that Mexico photo. Bring on the pasta...

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  11. Wow! I'm surprised your midwife lectured you about your pasta intake! I know that we tend as a culture tend to be pretty backwards about diet - thinking that pregnancy is the time to gorge ourselves on anything and everything. But isn't there a little bit of wiggle room?

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