Lilac Petals: A Post of Randomness

So this is just a quick, random update tonight. I just wanted to check in. First of all, I apologize that I've been behind on commenting on everyone's blogs. Please know that I am reading them, but just haven't had the energy or time to comment. When I read all of your blogs, I am inspired by how witty and thoughtful you all are. Yes, ALL of you. And then I sit down to write a quick little drivel.

What to say? First of all, I've been taking care of my little sister a lot lately. She's going through some significant pains in her chest/rib cage area, which was really scary for awhile, but the doctor says her heart and lungs are okay and the chiropractor diagnosed her with Costochondritis, which I'm still not really sure what that is and I'm not really sure her doctor does either. Ha. Anyhow, with no health insurance and no real answers and a lot of pain, this has been terrible for her and frustrating for me. I just want to sweep in and help. She's also having a lot of associated anxiety and panic and of course I want to help with that (that's my job, damnit!), but I can't treat my own sister. So...what did I do? My husband and I decided to treat her (and me) to a massage at Burke Williams (for those of you in LA, this should mean something....so decadent). I dunno if it helped her at all, but it helped me a little to be able to do something for her.

Speaking of massage, has anyone ever had a prenatal massage? That was my first one and it was...interesting. You lay on your side, clinging to a body pillow like the women in those advertisements for preggo-pillows and you try to relax while the masseuse tries to get to all the parts of your body that she would normally be able to massage with ease. I had a harder time relaxing because I couldn't really just "let go" of my muscles. And I wanted to just flip onto my stomach so she could really do her job. That being said, I think if I were farther along and have more pregnancy-related pains (rather than just my normal extremely tight shoulder pain), it would have been perfect. Oh, and we splurged on the 80 minute massage. Let me tell you, that is TOO long for a pregnant person to go without peeing.

What else? Hmm. I'm starting to come out of pregnancy fog. At least a little at a time. Actually going on outings. Dinner with a new friend, Griffith Observatory with some old friends, out to lunch... It's breaking me out of my mini-depression to actually get out and do things again. (Side note - my husband at the planetarium show was so absolutely adorable. He decided he wants to be an astronomer and learn everything about the cosmos. I can just see what kind of Dad he is going to be and want to learn everything with our kids so he can teach it all to them). My husband and I are doing ok - normal - in our relationship. We feel very united in the pregnancy now. Like it's real to both of us. I feel really lovey-dovey toward him. The only wedge is that we've been doing a lot of taking care of my sister (she's stayed over a few nights as well) and still taking care of me so that doesn't leave us much time for taking care of him. Oh, and still on the no-sex abstinence diet per Doctor's orders. Blech.

I bought this Prenatal Yoga video from Amazon. I decided it was time to start making myself do something active again. But I wasn't quite ready to dive into a real-life prenatal yoga class, given that I've never done yoga in my life and am one of those people that can't even touch her knees, much less her toes. That being said, I really liked the video. I made my sister do it with me. It seemed like it would be good for her chest/back/ribcage issues. And all of the stretching and opening up your back did seem to be good for her. I lost her on the Kegel exercises part of the video though. If you are an expert or even kinda-experienced at yoga, the video might be too boring for you. But, for me, I thought it was just right. They show modifications for each trimester, which was nice, and it includes a relaxation component at the end. Oh, and my calves are sore today. Of course, that isn't saying much as I haven't exercised since February.

Oh! And in somewhat-exciting news, a random person at work asked me today if I was pregnant! For real? You guys saw my bump picture, right? I am literally not showing at all. And she noticed when I was sitting down, which I would think would be harder to spot. But she literally gasped and said "OH, how far along?" Now this woman is known for her lack of verbal inhibition, so I actually think it's a pretty stupid thing to do. I mean, not to sound conceited, but my stomach is flatter than hers is, so how could she tell? I told her I was surprised she noticed and she said, "Oh well, you're always so thin...I can just tell." My husband said she was probably just referring to my boob size and that "thin" means "flat-chested." Ha. Either way, I got a kick out of it.

Finally, Mother's Day. I read everyone's posts about Mother's Day. I didn't do much commenting. Still wrapping my head around trying to contemplate others' pain whilst experiencing my first semi-Mother's Day. Either way, it happened. My sister and I couldn't decide what to get our Mom for this mother's day. I am really terrible at this. I usually do something generic like flowers or a gift certificate to a spa. Anyhow, this year, I had just found out my husband is going to Vegas next weekend with friends and I was trying to figure out a way to pamper myself a little bit. Knowing that my sister and myself have both been going through hard times physically, I realized that we both need our mommy. So I asked my husband how he would feel if I spent some money on myself while he spent some money on gambling. Final product? I'm flying my mom into LA this weekend, to stay with her girls. We'll get some much-needed mommy-time.

And that's it. That's my random update. I will have another post to write on Friday after my consultation at the Birth Center. OH - I almost forgot to thank you all SO MUCH for responding with such wonderful comments to my last post in which I desperately begged you to give me your opinions on the birthing center idea. You all helped so much because, surprisingly, everyone seemed so middle of the road and supportive of finding a middle ground and way to incorporate both of my value sets in one experience. I felt so supported by all of you and got a lot of helpful information. I will update you on Friday after our consultation regarding how it all went.

I also have another blog post percolating in my brain which is NOT completely pregnancy related (yes, I'm trying to think of posts that are not so baby-focused) and deals more with my identity in my career and something deep and meaningful about feminism and career goals. We'll see if that post ever actually comes to fruition. Be warned, it could be replaced by something equally as important, such as "Can you believe how long and strong my nails are while I'm pregnant??"

These were my Mother's Day Flowers from my husband. They were delivered to my work on Friday. I was shocked. Totally unexpected. Lilacs are my favorite flowers. They don't grow in LA. And even where they do grow, they only bloom for a few short weeks. But the smell...the smell brings me back to adolescent daydreams. I still have a dried chain of lilac petals that my husband made me in high school and left upon my bed. Gag me, how romantic.