Well, the second week has been harder than the first. It's settling in that this is my life in 2 to 4 hour segments. Hurry up, rush, care for baby, sleep when you can, breathe...this is life. Breastfeeding has been the theme of this week. Again, I will write a whole post on it, but oh my god what an experience. And by that I mean, it is chewing me up and spitting me out in little pieces. But, I just had a great visit from the lactation consultant and we have a plan now and I'm feeling positive. We will see how I feel at the 3:00am feeding tonight. B is back to work this week, so that's been one step closer to the "real world." The next step will be when my mom leaves and its just Owen and I! Sadly, there are days when I've been missing the two days we spent in the hospital, when it was just the three of us in a teeny tiny room with nothing to do but be amazed by our baby. Trying to fit in laundry, feeding pets, preparing meals, etc, makes it all the more gritty. And this is WITH my mom doing most of that work!
We had a pediatrician appointment today for his two week check up. Owen has officially gained back a pound from his lowest weight. Hooray! I was so proud of my little boy. He is so healthy and strong.
And me? I'm recovering. Doing better physically, but still don't have the all-clear to go for walks or get out of the house much. Feeling a bit stir crazy as a result. The pediatrician appointment was exciting just because we got to GO somewhere. Tomorrow we may take Owen to visit Daddy and friends at the office. Not thinking about labor as much, except when my issues with breastfeeding (i.e., overcoming pain, being a good enough mom, etc) bring back up doubts that I experienced from the birth. I'm beginning to wonder if I will have time to write a real post (ever!), but I do want to delve into how this experience has forced me to look at things about myself in a new light. My mom said, "We need to face our shadow selves." Ok. Well I guess my shadow self needs to get her act together and have a tough upper lip. Or at least tougher nipples.
Hoping to get back into commenting tomorrow. Don't expect too much retroactive commenting, but at least I'm hoping to jump back into the game.