Ok, so I apologize to the small number of people who may be reading this (IS anyone reading this??) who were subjected to my pitiful whining last night. Basically, I had a hard day and was feeling stressed, tired and lonely.
Today I went back to work for a few hours and then for a follow up appointment to get my stitches out. It felt good to get back to work. It also felt good to have the stitches out. Like everything is back to normal.
I also started to get secretly hopeful again about maybe the surgery didn't ruin our chances this month. I'm at 8DPO and I had a drop in my temps today. Possibly implantation?
Ha. I have to laugh at myself. Researching all of this stuff has included a mixture of reading forums and reading actually scholarly articles. It's almost like it represents two different sides of me. The side of me that has a doctorate and believes in randomly controlled trials realizes that there is very likely no such thing as an implantation dip. It's an illusory correlation. Some women get a dip in their temperature halfway through their luteal phase. Of those women who get a dip, some of them get pregnant. Some of them don't. Obviously the predictive validity here is pretty low. In lay man's terms, it's just a damn coincidence.
But the part of me that likes to be hopeful and optimistic and excited likes to read the forums and buy into urban legends. Like, when my FF app says to me "You are at 8DPO, you may experience an implantation dip today" and HOly Shit, I DO experience a dip...well that is just freakin' exciting. This is the same part of me that wants to buy into the whole "hmmm maybe I should pee on a pregnancy test in a couple of days because there is a less than 10% chance it COULD tell me something super early!!" Ha. The researcher in me has read the studies and knows that the majority of women are just wasting their time peeing on anything before 14DPO. I mean really, you might as well draw some lines on a tongue depressor and pee on that. But the Rapunzel-in-a-Turret side of me whispers, "Oh go on...pee on a stick...you might be in the 10%!!"
Well, tiny group of readers, what kind of person are YOU? A researcher who looks at facts? Or a princess in a tower, dreaming of a Happily Ever After?